Personal growth can be quite a challenge. Not because we don't know what to do, but because our dramatic stories get in the way.
Man... human beings are great story tellers! We tell stories about our relationships, work, finances, kids, and yes, even our health.
You know the stories I'm talking about, right? I'm talking about the long and dramatic stories that deserve the presence of a double-wide violin in the background. These are stories that put us in victim mode and leave us feeling that we're stuck with the same shit on a different day.
The thing about stories is that they are only real if you buy into them. Which actually makes them very simple to change. And, in fact, the first and only step to changing your story is to recognize that it is just that - a story and not reality. Once you've recognized your story is just a story, it doesn't take much to get enough momentum to change it around. Like I said, it's not that we don't know what to do, it's just that our stories get in the way.
There's nothing like taking the weight of a damaging story and turning it into fuel that eventually leads to action. The power that you get knowing that your happiness is always a choice is huge. But, like any thing, it takes practice.
Try taking an aspect of your life where you're feeling any of the following:
Now ask yourself: Could you have possibly sold yourself on the wrong version of the story? Are you sure the way that you have things figured out is really how they are?
Reality vs Story
Sure there are times when reality is tough. You may have cancer or only $50 in your bank account or a close friend who just passed away. I'm not suggesting that that those things are a story. Rather, the story is what surrounds them. The thoughts that constantly run around in your minds about what those things mean.
The great thing about noticing that you're living a certain aspect of your life through the eyes of a damaging story, is that the sooner you recognize it, the sooner you can transform it. The problem with stories are that they tend to prevent the story teller from seeing reality. The tendency is that stories often play "bait and switch" with the mind and make you feel that one aspect of your life is a problem when the truth is that it is something else.
Yes, pulling yourself out of a story is tough sometimes, (especially because it is a daily practice), but once you do it you can only feel:
- Unconditional Love
- Appreciation / Gratitude
- and Acceptance
Make a list of the major relationships and aspects of your life. Chances are that if you are not feeling one of the feelings above, then you've probably sold yourself on one hot story.