The beauty in emptiness
Going on a planned fast isn't my style. I'm sure it works for some people, but it hasn't worked too well for me. Rather, every so often, I like becoming so busy/productive that I just don't have time to eat. This past week I had that opportunity and it felt indescribably amazing.
Last Wednesday the Peace Conference my team and I had been planning for quite some time started up. I knew things were going to get crazy/fun so I brought a lot of raw food bars, green powder and fruit - anticipating I wouldn't have the time for any sit down meals. I had enough food to last me 2 days and I expected to make a run to Whole Foods half way through the event to stock up. Little did I know that the universe had other plans.
Thursday, the first full day of the event was wild like someone-eating-durian-for-the-first-time-wild. We had to process 5500 something registrations and deal with a few angry people who forgot that this idea of "peace starting within" isn't just a saying - go figure. Since I hadn't eaten much besides a few bars on Thursday, I was already feeling a little hungry, but hey, I usually go one day without food at least once a week, no big deal. What was a little different was the fact that I was sprinting everywhere like I was training for the
100 meter dash Kentucky Derby. Add all this together, plus a few runs here and there to the airport and you have one very, hungry, thirsty and tried Dhru.
Friday morning something clicked. Although I fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion, I woke up feeling 'like the shit'. Which is a very different than feeling like shit. I woke up with no sleep in my eyes, no backed up colon from late night eating, no lag time in mental awareness and a deep feeling of just being present. Could I have forgotten how good it felt to take a break from a few days of eating?
The day wasn't just magical because I felt physically fantastic, I also noticed that all my external actions were that much more on-point. I noticed that I was trusting my gut at every turn without any doubt clogging my action. My public speaking was strong when introducing speakers, my sense of peace stronger when circumstance got challenging and I was taking things on that I would normally avoid. And, just speaking honestly here, I think the pheromones were in full force. Lots of love being thrown my way.
I'm not saying all that is good in this universe comes from fasting. What I am saying is that taking a break from food really helped me connect to something deeper that I knew was there, but somehow was missing or even avoiding.
David Wolfe once told me how our intestines are exactly like the roots of a tree, they are just inversed. He also explained that when the roots are clogged from poor or overeating it makes it hard to "trust our gut". That simple idea has always stuck with me, but I never knew the profoundness of it until this past week.
As the conference got into its flow and work became self sufficient, my time started to free up. I could have eaten a full meal if I wanted, but I was so in the groove of emptiness that I chose to only eat a few bites here and there. It was a choice that would pay many returns.
Normally after a week of 2 hours of sleep and constant running around I'd need 3 days to just back in the groove, but this year was different. I had a half a day of light work and one full night of sleep (8 hours( and I'm back in action.
I will say that my first full meal was quite a heavy one. I went to Pure Food and Wine with Kim Eng from Eckhart Teachings and stuffed the face more than I "should" have. Immediately I felt the energy field that had developed over the week vanish. It was the difference between night and day. Although I was amazed how quickly I lost it, I also felt blessed for having this experience.
Where does this all leave me? I'm not sure. I was thinking about trying a planned fast, but I think I'll take the next few days really light with work and food and see what shows up.