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Recognizing insanity & transcending it


I have heard from Eckhart Tolle that the first step to sanity is realizing that you are insane.

This could relate to mental chatter, intense feelings of insecurity, and, very clearly, eating habits.

The biggest shock that I went through after reading raw books and experimenting with living foods was that my previous (and sometimes current eating habits) were actually acts of insanity. The actions of an insane individual. Insane might be a harsh term... but I was definitely unconscious and doing myself harm.

I was eating cooked, lifeless, and usually chemical-laden "food" that had no positive benefits for me.
Why was I still eating it? How could I have been so unconscious for so long? Was I actually purposely hurting myself?

This sudden gap between sanity and insanity led to a hard struggle that fortunately ended happily. I am now eating everything that I want to eat... it's just that I don't want to eat any of the garbage that used to appeal to me. Like a child who is done playing with a certain toy... I set that habit down and went beyond it.

How did I do it?

I realized that my poor eating habits were mostly used to comfort me when I was feeling alone (long distance relationship and living far from family and friends) and to give me pleasure with the cheap flavors as if I deserved a "treat".

There is usually a deep disconnect between what we know we should eat, and what we actually WANT to eat. When those two poles come together, you have balance and happiness. And strangely enough, green smoothies would always get me balanced. My cravings for junk would float away, and I would be full of goodness and alkalinity. And better yet... they tasted so good that the the part of me that still needed that feeling of satisfaction was happy.

The spiritual and the practical are both needed to transcend our previous modalities of living. Not only did I need to take the practical steps of getting more greens in the system, but emotionally I needed to understand where these cravings were coming from. Now food is still a treat, but I don't NEED it. I'm not dependent on it. And most importantly, I'm not using it to suppress anything.

Some questions to meditate on...

  • How might I be using food to suppress my emotions?
  • When do I usually have my most challenging days? How does food play a roll?
  • Do I enjoy what I eat? Do I look forward to eating my meals? Do I feel they nurture me?
  • What is one small step that I could take this week to transform my relationship with food?